On Mindset, Standards and Mental Habits
Welcome to Whatever Matters, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a high-performing life and career.
Today’s overview:
Updates from the Chalkmeout Podcast, Season 3
Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset
How to raise your standards
Taking control of your Mental Habits
This newsletter is brought to you by Polka Pop*
India's first brand to serve naturally flavoured sparkling water with zero calories and no added sugar. I am a huge fan of their mission which is to make healthy living fun, accessible and not your second choice.
Head over to this link to get a 10% discount on your orders.
This last week, I started the Season 3 of Sunday Guests on the Chalkmeout Podcast.
I have a lovely conversation about health and mindset with a Health Coach and Nepal’s first triathlon athlete, Alok Khatri.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel to watch the full episode when it launches.
To start this week’s newsletter, I wanted to highlight how we think. Our mindset is defined by how we tackle challenges, put in effort, take criticism, and perceive the success of others.
The two key mindsets that exist are; the Growth mindset and the Fixed mindset.
A human with a growth mindset believes that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning. Challenges are seen as opportunities to learn and grow, and mistakes are valuable stepping stones.
A human with a fixed mindset views abilities as innate and unchangeable. Challenges are seen as threats to self-worth, and mistakes are devastating setbacks.
Humans with a growth mindset tend to be more resilient, persistent, and open to feedback, leading to greater achievement and satisfaction in life. While mindsets seem fixed, the good news is that they can be cultivated.
Here are 15 questions that can help you form a strong growth mindset,
Answering these questions for a particular project, work, task or even generally in your diary, or sharing this with a friend can bring great positive change in the way you look at your mindset.
The quality of your life is the reflection of your standards.
Not a reader, listen to this on Spotify,
You could make millions and still stay poor in your mind. Being poor is not about making less money. Being poor is a mentality. It’s a choice to live a low standard of life. When I say low standard, I don’t mean the luxuries and pleasures rich people can afford.
You can raise your standards regardless of how much money you make. It’s not about money; it’s about mindset. Different people have different values. We can have high standards in some areas of our lives while we may avoid the other areas.
The five significant areas of life where you can raise your standards:
→ Health
Clearly, an average person is not a healthy person. Getting diagnosed with diseases has become a common thing. Smoking, excessive drinking, eating unhealthy foods and a sedentary lifestyle are the major reasons for such an epidemic. Your health and fitness have to rise above an average person if you want to live well and feel good in your body. Raise your standards by eating healthy foods, training your body, sleeping well and relaxing on purpose.
→ Wealth
If you want to raise your wealth standards, learn to manage your finances. Spend money wisely, track your expenses, save for the rainy day, negotiate and invest. You can live a frugal life without being a miser by buying things, services or experiences that truly enhance your life. Avoid impulse shopping for yourself, but don’t hesitate to spend money on the people you love. You can also make more money by making yourself invaluable and asking for what you deserve—being invaluable means doing extraordinary work. Constantly seek opportunities to learn and improve your work. Keep making progress, and don’t settle for average work. When you raise your work standards, you get a better outcome.
→ Relationships
Meeting new people is great. But, if you’re not careful about the people who you surround yourself with most of the time, you may get stuck in mediocre or stereotypical thinking patterns. Don’t lower your standards to fit in with other people. Find people who raise the bar and help you improve.
Watch out for the people who show jealousy, selfishness, passive aggression, dishonesty, or narcissism. Such people are energy vampires. Surround yourself with people who accept you, respect you and inspire you to become better.
These people will not be perfect, but they should inspire you in one way or another. Every person is different and has flaws. Learn to accept them if both of you help each other grow and are compatible. Raising your relationship standards also means connecting by giving your full attention, love, and effort. It involves making sacrifices, caring for others’ needs, making others feel loved, and not taking others for granted.
→ Self-discipline
You raise your standards every time you —ignore the lizard brain, say no to distractions, delay gratification or choose voluntary discomfort. Daily small choices set the foundation for your standards. Stop reacting to temptations. The urge to open social media, check notifications, eat unhealthy foods, skip workouts, buy unnecessary stuff, dwell on the past, or waste time will always be there. It is your duty to recognise them and kill them before they kill you. When you’re faced with urges, acknowledge them and do the right thing anyway. You will feel proud, and your self-confidence will become unshakable.
You don’t have to give up all the pleasures in life. You can enjoy pleasurable experiences in moderation. Find a healthy balance for yourself but don’t indulge beyond your allowance.
→ Mindset
Your thoughts determine your actions. If you want to put quality thoughts in your mind, you must craft your environment in a way that most thoughts in your mind are useful or helpful. Destructive thought patterns lead to depression, worry or anxiety. Your internal self-talk is the way to speak with your subconscious. Make sure you talk to yourself from a higher perspective. Become your life coach. Use the power of self-affirmation to feel powerful and inspired to become great. Most people never recognise what they are capable of because they think 'too small' and lack self-efficacy.
If you raise the standard of your mindset, you will not be shattered by failures or setbacks. You will see obstacles as an opportunity to learn and grow. You will get inspired instead of getting jealous. You will participate in healthy competition instead of comparing yourself with others.
Run your race and continually create, learn, reflect and improve. Eliminate all the excuses. Take full responsibility for your life.
Last week, I read “Mindset” by Dr. Carol S. Dweck
Dr Carol S. Dweck, a Professor of Psychology at Stanford, demonstrates in this book how a person’s perspective on their abilities and the range of possible mindsets has a significant impact on their performance in school, work, sports, the arts, and pretty much any other area of human endeavour.
Dweck explains the distinction between what she calls “fixed” and “growth” mindsets.
Dweck compares the growth mindset with the fixed mindset, and how each affects learning, relationships, and self-improvement. Additionally, she offers doable methods for developing a growth mindset and overcoming the constraints of a fixed mindset.
8 Key Ideas in Mindset that I wish to take forward,
Our mindset shapes whether we believe we can learn and change and grow – or not.
An individual’s abilities are set in stone in the fixed mindset.
Growth and development are possible in the growth mindset.
People with a fixed mindset seek approval; those with a growth mindset seek development.
The fixed mindset sees failures as disasters; the growth mindset sees them as opportunities.
People with a fixed mindset avoid difficulties; those with a growth mindset relish them.
Our mindset is often strongly influenced by the role models we had as children.
Anyone can adopt a growth mindset and make the impossible possible.
This week’s question to you
How do you manage distractions in your life? Reflect on your journey with the week's question and share your insights.
Join the conversation using #OwnYourLife on social media and i’ll see you next week.
Narayanan’s Recommendation Corner
Quote of the week,
“The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. - Carol Dweck”
Podcast of the week,
Mindset Reset: Take Control of Your Mental Habits by Mel Robbins. In this podcast, you’ll learn how to use simple neuroscience to train your mind to start working for you. The fact is, your mindset is critical to your happiness, success, relationships, and fulfilment. This episode is packed with takeaways and insights you can start applying to your life right now so that by the end, you’ll know how to use a powerful filter in your brain to reset your mindset.